As the brand new Top Gear website glides elegantly onto the net-o-web we’re saddened to report that the presenters won’t be around to see it. That’s because, after years of dodging the draft, they’ve been sent to Vietnam.
Fortunately, the war there ended 33 years ago so their mission is purely to make a jocular hour-long Top Gear special, rather than start shooting anyone in the face. Mind you, Jeremy’s there so you never know what might happen.
The precise details of their detail to South East Asia have to remain a secret for now but suffice to say they’re going to buy transport and undertake a road trip. Unfortunately their budget of several million Vietnamese Dong might sound massive but is in fact the square root of the sum of sod all in one of the most pricey car markets in the world.
News reaches Top Gear central command in London that they have now realised this and resorted to some rather more frugal – and buttock punishing – transport.
The boys will be back next week and presumably expecting some sort of traditional ‘Nam vets ticker tape parade to welcome them home. Except that this is supposed to be a paperless office. So we’ll just have to throw some laptops at them.
Now THAT sounds cool and very funny.
Hope the guys are good at ducking!
Jeremy liked it so much on his holiday, he had to take his mates with him. I can’t wait to see this. I’ve always loved your travel challenges and always will. Thank you, TG. You Rule!
Sounds brilliant! Looking forward to it!
This could be Alabama all over again lol
thats sounds sooooooooo cool i really good forward to wating it. though please take some defence with you because you dont want a Repeat of alabama.
Vietnam? What are they there for? To buy rickshaws?
I’d like to see them go to Malaysia frankly for two reasons. The first is that they’re always mocking it for being just a jungle (and it isn’t), and secondly it’s the home of Lotus, which is ironically a brand of cars that are actually OUTLAWED in Malaysia. That’ll give them a nasty shock.
I think it’s gonna be Alabama all over again! Is Jeremy gonna bring his AK47 with him like on the Caravan trip I’m Simon cowel LOL also when does season 12 start
cant wait to watch`em i wonder if it`ll be like alabama again
Hahaha, Vietnam. North or South??
Oh, does James realise the war’s over?
Throw some laptops at them? Hum, lets hope you lot use EEE’s rather than the Dell’s the BBC News lot have been stuck with, those things are HEAVY.
Good luck to the boys.
If it’s even half as good as the Botswana special or the US road-trip then i can’t wait…
…that said I’ve been struggling to wait since the end of the last series, but fortunately I’ve found religion to help me through this time of adversity.
IN DAVE WE TRUST
IN DAVE WE TRUST…
Right, which one of them is going to get the car that never starts… it was Jeremy in Botswana, James in America, so its Hammonds turn to buy a duff car this time
@mark – Hammond’s been known to buy old bangers too. Remember that campervan he had in the original amphibious cars challenge? it took a week to start, and a month to move.
That said, he usually buys quite well. His 924 in the porsche challenge was good, the BMW in the coupe challenge was good, his ferrari in the supercars challenge wasn’t bad, his pickup in america was good, Oliver proved invincible, and so on. He’d have to really drop the ball for him to lose to clarkson and may.
A-HA so this could explain why Jezza was spotted riding round on a Vespa, was he perhaps getting in some much needed practice? I do hope Richard and James get the chance to mock him mercilessly.
Sounds like it’s going to be a good’un
Woo! This should be utterly hilarious- cannot wait to see the fruits of this latest scheme. Nor can I wait for season twelve, I am starting to suffer from withdrawal. Good luck over there to all three of them… I am assuming that they will need it.
Yay!! Jeremy on two wheels. *giggles* I can’t wait
Canit wait to see Vietnam special! It will be alabama all over again!LOL Also when does season twelve start!!!
I’ve been struglling withoout TG!! But Dave has made me cope!!! lol
Firstly, for Mr. Tommo, new series starts on the 26th!!
secondly, next series, how about a trip across Australia in some cheap 4×4s?
Look after yourselves boys. Make sure young Richard eats properly, he looks like he’s needing a good meal especially as he’s a bit fussy about foreign food. Let me know when you’re back and I’ll do you a nice roast dinner and a rhubarb crumble.
Found these photos:
http://jalopnik.com/50594 42/top-gear-spotted-filmi ng-episode-in-vietnam
Gonna be a great show!
Top Gear? in vietnam? The boys would create HAVOC… Is jezza dead yet?
That’s gonna be AWESOME!!!!
But why Vietnam?
I guess Clarkson wanted an assignment, and for his sins, they gave him one. Brought it up like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, he may never want another.
By the end of this, of course, he could be ruling over a heavily-armed camp of petrolheads somewhere up-river with Hammond in facepaint (and May in an armchair… if one could not be found, he’d build one out of vines and leaves).
Will we need to send Dermot O’Leary/Lewis Hamilton up there to collect the bill?
This is going to be so cool.
Cool, can’t wait for the next episode! After about 4 months of living off Dave there is a finally a new episode!!! Yay!!!
Ace:D
Watch out for those Charlies!!!
))))
Makes me remember the American Road Trip they took. Hope they ROCK this one too!!
Good Luck… Have fun
A man goes into his garage and says: “Hey, can you get me a 9.5 Saab Aero.”
“Yeah, here: direct from Saab dealer. Just out of 3yr but with Full Service History. Enjoy”.
Man drives Saab round a few corners and back for a service. Garage says:
“Lost a bit of oil there. What you been doing? Polishing your pistons… ha ha lol? Naa Don’t worry, they’ve got extra warranty for this. Let’s see what they say.”
Garage rings dealer.
“They say, if it blows up they’ll replace it.”
“But it hasn’t blown up, it’s just glossing up its pistons!”.
“Only if it blows up, they said!”
“But what if it blows on a motorway? At speed?..?”
“Only if it blows up.”
“OK.”
Few weeks later, “Hello? ..Dealer?… What if it’s running on NO oil?”
“No oil?”
“Yes No oil.”
“How d’you know its been running on NO oil?”
“Because its hot; very hot. And ’cos it smokes from the front now as well as the back and the badge on the bonnet is stuck to the jack”.
“Oh that hot… alright then, but don’t tell everyone or they’ll all want one.”
“Don’t tell everyone what?”
“Look, just bring it in and we’ll give you a new engine.”
“What a completely new engine?”
“Yes, well a sort of new engine… “
“Sorry I didn’t hear that…”
“A ‘Short’ of new engine”
“Just.. short of a new engine?”
“Well, just sort of a new engine that’s just a ‘SHORT’ new engine.”
“What , not one with all the bits; like a new turbo for the one that’s been driving round for the last year without enough oil in it?”
“Come on don’t push it. You’ll get a ‘Short Engine’ and like it!”
“Short as in LIFE; or short as in SIZE? …. No sorry OK OK..”
“Look do you want it or not?!”
“Yeah, I want it… but, does it fit a banana ? ”
“WHAT!!??”
“Does it fit a banana?”
“You trying to be funny????”
“No. Only how are you going to get your new, ‘one short of a pic-nic engine’ , to sandwich fit along with my old ‘cooked-on, cooking stove’ head? …… Why NO NEW HEAD??”
“Look, it’s SHORT or nothing… seee! And also, you want a new turbo, you buy it.”
“I buy it?”
“Yes, you buy it.”
“OK, OK, I buy it. .. and ….. no new head.??”
“NO!… NO NEW HEAD!”
Man gets car back
After all that was said.
But with new engine embedded
In old engine’s head.
Paid for his turbo
But not for new rail
They called that a recall
[Another whole tale].
He drove it around; some miles as before
Six hundred & fifty
“Precisely?”
“Sure.”
Then just short of 660
He learnt:
WHAT
SHORT
MEANT.
Other cars drove-by
With him in a lay-by
He had to laugh trying
To control his emotions;
On phone to his wife,
Describing explosions.
He’d done as they’d said.
He’d tried to be wise.
But t’was SHORT as in LIFE!
Not SHORT as in SIZE VERY SHORT
So car back with Saab
Now not so R’ A-C.
He thinks they’ll stand aaahing
With egg on their facies
He thought they would fix it
And that without question;
But they sent him a bill
For their time of inspection!
And when he enquired
What might have just caused it?
They confess’d, “No idea!”
“T’was you that had bought it!”
“But find it important perhaps to say why?”
“Not our ‘spons’bility;
“Bye bye.”
“Bye bye.”
And so we ‘ave ended
With a
‘postrophies.
SPLENDID!
It was not that the rhyme
Was full of omissions.
But because their reply
might affect their positions.
The Man – currently in legal process going to Court – is being pressed to the expense of forensic expert evidence. And Saab, beyond taking off the head after the catastrophic motorway engine failure, Saab refused to do anything; neither mend nor even investigate. After complaint they withdrew their ‘bill’; but saying that the failure was not caused by either their short engine, nor their replacement DI rail; and they maintain it is not their position to prove or find the cause of the failure.
The Man’s garage rebuilt the engine with re-bores and a replacement head (a 2nd hand re-con.) In a Statement of Truth to the Courts, Saab’s Solicitors stated that to use a second-hand head was “..not something the Defendant would recommend.” [What weight or bearing this should have upon the horse already having bolted.?] Save for the fact: when Saab undertook to effect engine replacement, they were happy to use the head that had suffered not only oil depravation for probably well over many, many months, including at one point complete oil starvation, but Saab deemed that for them, that original head was all fair game and ‘well up for the job’. The proof of the Banana is buried in the explosion.
Moral:
As with: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“Don’t hook a gift engine in the head.” [I’m a-freud about that as well.]
And: “Don’t park your Saab in the hall ….. the Vauxhall. Premier vaux pas”
And the Man?:
He thought that he bought a Saab, a marque he’d been driving for more than twenty – the trouble was, he hadn’t realised he’d bought it from Vauxhall.
Anyone got an idea to help here ??
Oh this can’t end well. Any bets on how many times the crew went to the whore houses there.
Sounds like it’ll be another epic TG road trip!
I CAN’T WAIT!
I hope they will make it not only a vietnam special, but southeast asia special! Then they can mock the dullness of people using people carriers here…(i’m living in indonesia and i love beautiful cars, unlike many people carriers!)
our beloved 3 middle-aged blokes cocking about…….’Nam…….dodgy cars(or something like that)…….potential for disaster…..it’ll be epic.
When will the show be back on?
TOP GEAR RULES
every series just gets better and better
when its on i make sure its quiet and my sky + is set 2 record
i already cnt wait 4 the new series but now i have heard they r doin a nam road trip – its torture waitin 4 the new series 2 start
whens the new series startin??
i hope richard doesn’t fall in love with the car that he buys in nam
(then again the new car will be a new friend 4 oliver)
have fun in nam lads
………….TOPGEAR ON TELLY 26TH OCTOBER SO NOT LONG NOW……………………………..
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Vietnam… hmm… interesting.
I expect they’d be reviewing the best rickshaw and a film on the history of the bus abuse.
here are some suggestions.
1. Driving a rickshaw/taxi around a city of vietnam. (Topgear challenge)
(Stig’s Vietnamese cousin doing a lap).
2. Fastest way across vietnam.
Cycle rickshaw, bicycle, rickshaw, Bus or car.
3. Best/Cheapest car to have in vietnam.
4. In the life of a Vietnamese Bus Driver.
first it was japan and now vietnam.
expecting even greater topgear now.
Always wanted the boys to do a Vietnam special.
I’m from Brazil and a really good idea would be to do a Brazil special; because Brazil has hundreds of low budget cars which will never be in production in Europe (thank bloody God!) and would be perfect for them to do a road trip as they would suffer!
Can’t wait until the next series start!
i hate pasta
chocolate is nice. are you gay??
I LUV TG’S CHALLANGES, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHERE TEAM TG ARE ABROAD. MY ALL-TIME FAV (AT THE MOMENT) IS THE AMERICAN SPECIAL. I WATCH TG EVERY SUNDAY AND I AM LOOKING FOWARD TO THE NEXT SERIES. TG IS AWSOME!!!
Ford fiestas are cool. could you do something on them?? Love the show
cant wait 4 the new series 2 start
i love watchin the challanges and races top gear have – the bugatti vs james plane has been repeated on Dave recently.
The best top gear special is the south africa 1 when richard met oliver
I wonder if the mole is as charming as Andy Wilman?
OMG CANT WAIT TILL NEW SERIES, GOOD LUCK GUYS IN VIETNAM!!!
Roll on new series
Yeah Baby!
I WANT TO WATCH TOP GAER SHOW IN MALAYSIA.
LAST MONTH,I CAN SEE TOP GAER.BUT,THE SHOW IS REJECTED.I WANT TO WATCH TOP GAER IN MALAYSIA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!.
NO CAR
NO THE STIG
IT’S THE STIG IS ALLIENS?????????????????? ???????????????????????? ???????????????????????? ????why THE STIG cannot open his helmeT?????? His helmet is nice!!
I can just picture it now… Jezza on a moped, James melting from the heat trapped in his thatch, Richard constantly complaining about the food…
And Andy Wilman spotted in a corner, quietly mumbling to himself, “the horror…”
Cheers to the many many ‘dong’ jokes they’ve undoubtedly made
It is properly going to be Alambama all over again.
I want it to happen
um…. yay
The boys…. spooking gooks.
Sludge, you have got too much time on your hands. Why dont you have a go at learning English in that time? You suck!
I Wonder If There Will Be An Aston Martin
top gear rules
BREAKING NEWS BROUGHT BY KK
TOP GEAR DELAYED
nah it benn delayed till nov 2nd because some sport is on the day and they are also doing a 24 hour race again and they’re going to america.
When are we gonna see another classic pan-European Top Gear race? London to Casablanca anyone? JC is gonna have a riot on the highways in Morocco
Did the boys take body guards to Nam, or was it as we all know Birming’nam that they went????
I hope it’s like Alalbama again!!
Good Luck Top Gear!!
See the new seriers on Dave in 5 days!! LOL!!
IN DAVE WE TRUST(SORT OF)
THEY SHOULD DO A INDIAN CAR SPECIAL!!!
Jezza rules!! Hamster rules!!!
Hope James May dosen’t get lost!!!(AGAIN)!
UM,UM—-UM,–UM—-UM———————— –
Hi Kerry,I love u!
I just can’t wait to see the new series…It sounds like a lot of fun. Especially in Vietnam
WHOO !
Top Gear Is Finally coming back! After watching Dave all the time and seeing all of the Shows more than 5 times each I cant wait for it to come back on !
Might be Alabama All Over again Lol
I Love RICHARD HAMMOND!!!!!
Hes So Sexy And Smart And Cool And Funny & Has The Most Gorgeous Smilie You Could Ever See!!!!
But My Sister And Friends Dont Think So But Screw Them………I’m Gunna Meet Him So So….hehe
SHUDDUP
This Is Hammond Lover hehe i’ve changed my name I so want to be Mrs Hammond:(
Hes So Gorgeous
((Watching Topgear at the moment))
Kay May If Your On Tell Mom I Will Be Walking Wiv Katie After School Again…lol
Bored I’ve Finished My Work Now Got Nothing To Do…Hmmm I Think I Will Watch Some TopGear On YouTube:P
Help mE Kay mAY!!!!
Would Some One Talk Plz…:(
ok to start Please keep using awesome pieces of music like Elbow- Grounds for Divorce it made my week oh and the pagaini Zonda err who else knew it would be quicker err hello its made of carbon fiber people and that fat VW was never going to beat it, it cant put is power down quickly enough…..sorry needed a rant.
thanks !! very helpful post!
I bookmarked this site, Thank you for good job!
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