If only Simon Moistbourne was still around he could launch an impassioned plea for calm in his Bournemouth Trumpet column.

It’s not exactly him at his worst, is it? Loads of people moan about traffic…

ah i can see why this town that hosts one of the coasts finest football clubs is having trouble getting the deposit from the new prospective owners they are stuck in traffic with that big cheque ….

oh Mr Clarkson could you arrange for Police outriders to speed them up…. us fans are getting very anxious.. or would you and some of your mates fancy buying a footy club..

Inside every old person is a young person trying to get out of Bournemouth : P
I don’t know zit about Bournemouth but still: LOL

Visited bournemouth once. Here are the facts:

1. There are no emergency services to speak of. Crime rate is high as a result.
2. My brother broke his arm at midday. Took him to hospital. He waited in the waiting room (despite it being an emergency) with no treatment or anything to stem the blood until half 3 IN THE MORNING.

Frankly Bournemouth have their priorities bend right out of shape if they’re ignoring these issues completely but get arsy when clarkson mentions their traffic.

First he alienates the 188 prostitute-killing bus drivers still steering the streets, and now the entire city of Bournemouth. If they are SO insulted by one man’s comments on their city, the citizens of Bournemouth might want to consider taking themselves less seriously and have a laugh.

http://www.gearite.com

Bonjour j adore votre emission vous etre formidable j espere que vous allez continuer je regarde toujours enfin des que je peut vous avez pas des dvd de votre emission merci

I seem to remember Jeremy writing in the past that Bournemouth was the best signposted city in the world with the clearest roundabout directions, and a joy to drive through

Last time I was there it was a nightmare though, with the some of the more mature drivers just faffing about and causing chaos for everyone else. Christchurch, just up the cost, is even worse because of a meeting of roads in the centre that seem designed to jam into each other and cause gridlocks.

I’m from bournemouth. and i agree with Jeremy. its a pigging hell to get through there. plus if you really dont know where your going you cant go there because the signposts for everything are two centimetres before the actual roundabout.

and it doesnt help that all the old people fall asleep at the wheel whenever something stops. so that nothing ever moves again

and to Ash:

i wrecked my knee once and went to bournemouth hospital and waited a solid six hours to be treated before a nurse came up to me and asked me what i was doing there. its nice to be forgotten by the nhs when your knee is internally bleeding (lovely bit of sarcasm)

Actually, on the same trip down to Bournemouth I mentioned before I had to visit the hospital with a person suspected of having concussion. We got into the waiting room at about 6.30 and got out near midnight. About an hour before that we’d been taken though and then had to stand there in the ward because there weren’t any examination beds. The verdict? Keep an eye on it, next please.

Have the denizens of Bournemouth managed to satisfactorily REFUTE JC’s allegation?

I lived in Bournemouth for year and the traffic is terrible… Not long ago the echo ran a front page article Reading “Traffic Hell”. I still go in there from time to time, and it’s a nightmare.

I lived in the Poole area for while and commuted to Heathrow and Gatwick for work as airline crew. The only way to drive in and out of Poole and Bournemouth, suggestion; drive through the night, when there’s nothing on the road! Considering Bournemouth/Poole being a massive tourist area and has some very wealthy residents, (I believe its listed in the top 5 of the worlds most expensive real estate areas). The traffic situation is better in Cuba (a relatively poor communist country) or smog filled Los Angeles, compared to Bournemouth/Poole. Traffic goes horribly wrong past Bristol! The South West needs to sort it out, including Devon and Cornwall, especially so our visitors can enjoy the delights of the Westcountry instead of bouncing their heads off the steering wheel, whilst sat in traffic. Come on folks, sort it out, we have the Olympics coming around the bend (pun intended) in 3 years time. It’s embarrasing. Spot on Clarkson.

what the hell are they complaining about… tell me one thing he said in that article excerpt that isn’t true!

Surely the people of Bournemouth agree that congestion is bad and that it is like a grey version of Florida in terms of people retiring there?

Where’s their sense of humour gone?

i dont get this at all

@7
We love you too.

South west is such a beutiful part of this islan that you should drive slow just to enjoy it.
I live in East London.Peolple go 50 in 20 zone just to avoid bullets.

ps old ppl should be shot at birth !:D

Dear Van Driver, “50 in a 20, dodging bullets” in the East End!!!…lovely, can’t wait for the Olympics in London and current construction in Stratford, East London to be completed for the Olympic Village…marvellous?! Which brings me back to the taffic in Dorset where the sailing events are being held. Clarkson I believe you may have started something here dearest! I wonder if Messrs Brown and Johnson will read this….

Think Bournemouth is bad, should try Reading and Slough. Mind you, I’ve been to Bournemouth, and whilst it is nice…I do agree with Jez, once you’re in you’re lucky to get out!

I’ve lived in Bournemouth all my life and traffic is an absolute nightmare if you need to travel between 7am & 7pm.
The council even considered removing the coast road by the pier to make things worse!

Seems a lot of people have recognised Bournemouth’s hospital. Or ‘death pit’, as I prefer to call it, given how many people seem to be sitting in the waiting rooms bleeding to death…

Comment 12 makes a good point – until Bournemouth is in a position to even defend their traffic issues (let alone refute JC’s claims altogether) then maybe they should stop being whiny brats and take it on the chin like a man. Jeez. Some people should just grow up.

I live in bournemouth, and yes, the traffic is well bad, and yes, all the people here are the complaining type!
Jezza has every right to complaine, its what the british do so well! Its not his fault the council are tits!

I thought it was well funny when i read the atricle, cause as you could imagine, its taken bmouth by the gonads and has started a war between the generations! All the old people hate him, and every one under the age of 50 love him down here!

So basictly, the traffic is herendus, but hay, we have well nice beaches and some tits who cant take it on the chin!

Hello I love your show you will be great I hope you will continue as I always watch that finally I can not have your DVD emission thank you

please contine, i will cry if you don’t. your tottally awsome arn’t you now come on!!

Its Clarkson he says these things and I love him for it SO leave him be!!!

Funny!

Brilliant, it’s given some no name journalist a little lime light anyway, love the writing style as well, as in trying to stoke a fire.

Personally Clarkson is spot on, I drive all over this country, over 40,000 miles in a car per year, and there are towns and cities you know just to stay away from…. Bournemouth being one of them!

Rubbish!!
they should go to Mexico City to see what is like to be in a traffic jam.

Again, this proves that Jeremy Clarkson is brilliant! Not since Shakespeare have I encountered a writer with such wit and pithiness! Best wishes, from the mountains of Northeastern California!

funny as hell jc!!

Jezza is right i’ve been to bournemoth before and the traffic is —-. I think that the people of bournemouth should —— ——- get their fat arses of their damn seats and do somethng about it. (i.e. build a ring road)

JC is completely right, I’ve been for weekend holidays to Bournemouth quite a few times and the traffic has always been extremely bad! I admit I love the area its very grand and there’s loads of awsome shops down there to do some good shopping but it is a mission getting in and out of the place. There is also a Ferrari dealer not too far from there which I came across on my travels. To Mr. Universe who posted comment 20 – saying all old people should be shot at birth is a silly thing to say because then there would be no one at all because we are all born with the potential of getting old, see what I mean

Well i suppose its not as bad as what he said about Norfolk!

@20 you should probably rethink that idea. Shooting old people “at birth” would be a bit of a challenge no?

they shud jst stop moanin
as usual as soon as jc says somthn abt a towns traffic problem the council doesnt wnt 2 admit tht ther town is congested. 4 god sake instead of ignoring the problem grab it by the balls and do somthn abt it!!

he slagged off northampton a while ago and we wasnt bothered he’s well know for talking toss get over it bournemouth. northampton is also crap

Wow! some people are giving out about what jeremy said, It seems a bit familiar! Have people got pissed off with jeremys view’s before??? I think so.

Put your traffic in your pipe, Bournemoutn and smoke it!!!

the people of bouremouth shoule get over the selves. i’ve heard worst comments from a five year old

Jezza you are so right!! I love the south coast but it is catastrophically bad to drive through, awfully busy and such a shame cos Bournemouth and especially Poole are gorgeous places. Sort your traffic probs out and Jezza i love you for being so up front with everything!

Keep it up Jezza, say what you want, when you want. Let em moan, they obviously have no life!

JEZZA IS A LEGEND INDEED!

The man is spot on- got stuck in Bournemouth at the weekend en route to a wedding. Only just got out again. Terrible. Or as Herve would say, terrible!

guess what bournemouth has bad traffic when its suppossed to… commuting times and height of tourism. strange that. and i imagine clarkson was caught in bank holiday monday traffic, strange that.

@36. age is a state of mind..

..the traffic in this country is beyond all critique. if someone points that out it shouldn’t even be noticed.. but “the clarkson said” phenomenon is way out of proportion.. bournmouth should be glad someone cared to comment at all and clarkson is probably having a giggle knowing what ever he says might make the headlines.. somewhere, somehow.. all this is simply ridiculous.. only in england…

wat was clarkson doing there anyway… Looking at retiring there?

Hahahahahahaha!

Also people need to learn how to take a joke.

Enough said.

very amused as clarkson is right…..

Jezza, I’m sure you are right.

Would love though for you guys to visit Greece and most of all the center of Athens. If you can find a road in between the holes, you will find it blocked. Parking… forget parking.
Driving in general, especially on the older highways, is like going to a luna park. Therefor road fatalities are the highest in europe. The solution in some parts of greece? Putting very big signs that say: “Carefull in the next ..km many deadly accidents happen”. And you pay tolls for these roads.

Chaos is a Greek word. And there are reasons for that.

The only decent roads are the new roads build by germans for the olympic games and the new highways.

Anyway.. keep complaining but also show it can be a lot worse… And maybe it will also improve with the olympic games over there….

why don’t you change your studio location to bournemouth so that we could rob the studio and our name is fifth gear

i think you should do bigger races than you all ready do my suggestion is to race from your studio to the grange school in christchurch dorset bh23 3au

u are gay

i went to uni in bournemouth, its a nightmare.
advice, follow the signs for the ring road until you see an exit labelled something like what you want. and don’t go near the western way.
or anywhere near seafront when its sunny or there is a gig at the bic.
or park in the carpark of winton waitrose and get the number 6, or castle point and get the m1. sounds odd but you will find a space, there are very few in the middle of town.
ps, just coz you are from somewhere does not mean you should be incapable of seeing its drawbacks, grow up.

The only problem with Bournemouth is that is isnt Southampton.

Agreed though, b’mouth is a one way confusing nightmare of a town.

My first experience of Bournemouth’s traffic was Aug ‘89 when I went there with my soon to be Husband to meet his Grandparents. It was totally horrendous then, and in the ensuing 20 years has only got worse. The people of Bournemouth are quite glad Jezza said something.

It can be nightmareish, but any town who has a mass gathering of tourists flocking every time the words ‘bank’ and ‘holiday’ enter the collective mindset will face problems when they all arrive. The daily echo is however, renowned for it’s ott response to anything remotely controversial…Traffics not that bad though (as a local)

Wow, Jeremy has actually offended people. That’s never happened before. Ever.
Why should they give a damn about what he says about their traffic? bit over the top if you ask me…

Clarkson at his best!

The people of Bornemouth need to get a sense of humour seriously, I mean what he said is hardly offensive is it whinging about traffic? I mean lets be honest he could have said a whole lot worser stuff than that but he didn’t so they need to chillax a bit more.

New series of Top Gear coincides with Clarkson angering ——– (fill in the gap). Good work TG, not that you need to rouse anyone’s interest. Most of us would happily watch Clarkson mowing his lawn for an hour on Sunday evenings.

I love JEREMY!!!!!

I’m at Uni in Bournemouth (and I drive), and to be honest I’ve not had much issue with the traffic. But I am from Weymouth, so I’m used to Dorchester Road and all the congestion. But as others have said, who cares what’s said about it – I’m sure many other places do have better traffic situations – its really nothing to get uptight and offended about is it.

Now, where can I find this article?

Get a sense of humour guys….

I live here and agree with him. Clarckson spot on again. Got to go grannies pulling out

Mad Steve said…
Get a sense of humour guys..

Oh god, here we go again. JC writes, in his distinctive way, that the roads road Bournemouth are jammed up and immediately some silly person claims to offended. Name one negative thing he wrote about the people of Bournemouth, one thing.
They only thing he wrote is that the road are jammed up and that people can’t get out. That doesn’t say anything about the old people in Bournemouth, it only says something about the local government.

I have lived in Bournemouth for the last 8 years and agree totally with Jezza. The traffic is abysmal – some of the worst in the country. There are too many buses with no-one on and council are intent on digging up portions of roads that are fine to put down the most pathetic ’sleeping policemen’ I have ever seen, causing utter chaos. Bournemouth is quite clearly run by a bunch of numpties.

Go Jezza!

Makes a change from Jeremy writing about how bad Guildford is!!!

Ha Ha good old Jezza, love Jimbo BH10

Fully agree with Jeremy. I Lived in Bournemouth for 30+ years and it used to be quite nice, now it’s just one giant carpark full of some of the most ignorant drivers in Britain. Presumably everyone is on the roads because the carparks are so expensive!

Have you ever tried to buy goods from there via any form of delivery you just dont get it BUT you do get excuses, JC explained the reasons for these delays stuck postal and delivery drivers.

He’s quite right. Bournemouth is horrible, and not just from a driving perspective either.

Poole’s much better.

JC is right!

I live in Bournemouth and it is a dump. It’s full of old codgers going nowhere slowly. Most of them should not even be driving they are so old and decrepit!

If you see a car going fast in Bournemouth it is probably a druggie popping out for a fix.

Oh, how true. I regularly travel from Plymouth to Portsmouth and the traffic at the back of the Poole/Bournemouth conglomeration is diabolical – it takes more time to get the 20 miles past that than for the rest of the journey. And because most of the people who live there are retired it’s awful at any time, not just rush hour, cos nobody is rushing to get anywhere.

I’m going to see Morrissey in October shall I set off now ? More pics James naked please

Now he is attacking my town…..it’s bad enough with car I drive… RS4!!! sshh

Bournemouth must be where the founders of Auburn, New York originally came from because it’s the same over here. The traffic lights here are programmed to make you stop at every single one. We’ve discovered that if you go 48mph you can hit all the lights green and get thru town in 5min, instead of the usual 35min. Of course that only works if there are no other cars on the road and no cops. Because the speed limit’s actually 30mph. Sufficed to say, testing this theory was done in the wee-hours of the morning.

hey i’ve lived in bournemouth my whole life and as a top gear addct think jezza can say whatever he likes. ignore the old people JC we love ya!!

people in bournemouth get alife. we love jazzer!! he would hate evesham where i live. the traffic there can be very bad.and you cant park any where.

Can’t people just get used to Jeremy?

jezza u stupid spoon
1 peoplz u comented e.g alex steve nick
**** off u **** ****** ***** ****** *** **** **** people

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go JC
i add also nick u *** *** ******

turonimo u ****** *** **** *** ect

+ bec u *********** ****** *******

JC is spot on – Driving around Bournemouth is a nightmare at the best of times – try not being late for work!!

I like pie

Having driven around most of the country, bourney in comparison isnt as bad as its being made out to be. Sure when its rush hour there is a delay but give me an example of an area that doesnt! Im a fan of his but think this time jeremy might of got it wrong.

bournemouth traffic is awful
and full of old fossilized people that that drive at 3 mph in a 30

the signs are minimums

JC is spot on about Bournemouth traffic. It has been dreadful for years. The councillors are too busy down the lodge to take any notice and never actually do anything… in fact most of the council decisions make things worse!

Throw in a driving population consisting largely of crinklies who think 20mph is reckless then you have a recipe for congestion.

And yes , I do live there and my daily commute is hell – 10 miles to Poole takes about one and a half hours each way. MURDER!

Come on Bournemouth – appoint JC as Traffic Czar!

Jeremy is absolutely right about Bournemouth traffic; it’s terrible.

I moved out from Bournemouth two years ago to live in Verwood (Bournemouth is so congested and hardly any car parking either). If I go shopping in Bournemouth it can take anything from half an hour to two hours to get back into Verwood. In addition the amount of oldies who crawl along at 20mph and then brake for every slight bend in the road drives me mad! Anyone who can handle a car around here is looked at with great suspicion

I never buy the Bournemouth Daily Echo but sometimes it’s given away outside WH Smith and I take a copy to line our car litter tray with – best place for it!

A world without cars, a sense of humour and Jeremy would be a much poorer place. Don’t change Jeremy; we all love you just as you are!

As someone who lives 15 min away from Bournemouth and used to work there I can agree that the traffic is awful always during rush hour, whenever there are roadworks, school traffic, near the two hospitals – almost always. unless im driving back at 11pm after visiting the cinema, then its fine!

Sounds like were I live.
Every summer the city turns into one giant building site, where they dig up every other road, driving everyone nuts.

We always joke that people don’t move to Randers, they are simply tourists that couldn’t find the way out of the city again.

You just got to see the humour in the situation, or you’ll end up a bitter old fart.

Oh come on … its jeremy clarkson what do you expect he loves to use his mouth and its a laff to be fair coz its true !!! haha … and this aint clarkson at his best !! he’s said alot worse about things people and places

He’s right.

Driving around this town is a nightmare.

With a road system designed to make traffic flow from A to B, the council decided to put in rafts of ‘traffic calming’ measures to stop it… and they wonder why the traffic is bad.

With no proper ring-road and no dual carraigeway arterial route from the centre of Poole to the centre of Bournemouth, and Castlepoint being likewise ensconsed in single lane roads, traffic is a nightmare… and you try driving through Pokesdown into Boscombe.

- and that’s before you add the old people into the mix, clinging to the wheel of their Nissan Micras doing 10mph with white knuckles.. and the Kevins going up and down Westover Road in their Vauxhall Nova chavmobile with holes in the exhaust, blacked out windows and a body kit that screams ‘I am a ****’… and the silly fish badge brigade that is supposed to be something religious I think but actually has the effect of making the person in the car drive like they can’t get out of first gear.

Jezza is right. There is nothing controversial about his comments. In fact I would say he is underplaying it a bit and being quite gentle!

Good on you Jezza, it’s about time someone gave our dopey council a boot up the backside!

Thank you for telling it like it is!

Jezza for Bournemouth Council Leader anyone?

I live in Bournemouth and I can say JC has described it perfectly.

Not only is the traffic in our town appalling the whole town is becoming a disaster.

Boscombe is full of junkies, the seafront is full of unsold overpriced high rise developments no-one wants, most of the population is either over 80 or under 20 “no-speak Eeengleesh” language students or stoned uni students and the traffic is always snarled up.

The best bits about Bournemouth are Poole on one side and the New Forest on the other!

Why was Jeremy in Bournemouth?

There are only two reasons to go there.

1. To wait to die.

2. To get drugs.

Ha Ha Ha….

very beautiful

JC is dead right.

Bournemouth is an overpriced dump full of old crones and drunken students. The roads are always jammed solid. Avoid if at all possible…..sadly I live there.

Good on ya Jezza !

B’mth is one big traffic jam!
I go there is to get more smack! Or grab-a-granny!

Why do people get upset about him cpmplaining about the traffic anyway?
It’s just so….unnessecary 0.0
And besides,he’s right.
I’ve driven through Bournemouth once, and I’m never going to do that ever again.

The People of Bournemouth want to get a sense of humour injection,Jeremys comments are always humerous and tongue in cheek.Dont let the …….. get you down Jeremy!!!!

Simply… BRILLIANT!!!

Jerome needs to get out more. “the only decent roads etc…”. Try North Yorkshire. Or Wales. or better yet, Scotland. The “Road to the Isles” is entertainment on wheels!

PS I’ve never been to Bournemouth, possibly missing the point?

Bournemouth is a congested, senile, drunken dump.

Why on earth did JC go there?

it must have been very sordid!

No right minded young(ish) person would ever go there !

Bournemouth has no rings roads, no bypasses no motorways. It does have zillions of pensioners, chavs, druggies and students.

Mix them all together and you get traffic chaos. Captain Slow would like it.

The JC is frighteningly accurate with his description of Bournemouth.

Sure Bournemouth’s bad, but worse than LA – Ha! You’ve never been in an LA jam if you think that, let me tell you!

Also, if you think Bournemouth’s bad, try the M25 clockwise from the M40 right now or the M3 around 8AM on a Monday morning…

Anyway, traffic’s bad in Southern England – get used to it, JC we already know that!

if they say jeza is “CONTROVERSIAL” its very good; c’z they r facing facts and that’s why they find it offensive.

i live in bmth and its all true!!

The truth hurts sometimes …

I think that’s well funny! And true as well, Bournemouth is basically a traffic filled old fogey town!

Jezza is scathingly accurate about Bournemouth.

It does have truly dreadful roads filled with old fogies, druggies and students- not a good mix at the best of times.

The best thing about Bournemouth is it’s not Poole – which is where I live.

Now that is a MUCH better place!

i live in bournemouth an i have no problem with what clarckson has said, because he is absoutley right its because the population of bournemouth is full of old people !!!!!! ( who shouldn’t be on the road )

People shouldnt take offence at something as ridiculous as a traffic insult. how on earth is that a slight on you personally!?

Mr Clarkson is voiciferous and entertaining, but I wouldn’t call him knowledgeable.
In my opinion the newspaper in question is also fine for fun, but a little light on hard facts.

So, anything written by Clarkson in the Sun should be regarded as a doubly frivilous throw away comment, to get offended by it shows a lack of judgement about how much weight it carries.

jeremy clarkson i love you, but please let my mum do james’ hair!
love baby violet x

There is one good thing if you can’t get out of Bournemouth. At least there are loads of things to do and places to go there. Something for all of the family. http://www.allaboutgoingo ut.com