Ready the rotten fruit and rotten eggs: this Sunday’s episode is the last in the current series of Top Gear.
We’re sorry. We really are. Throw your fruit and eggs but don’t aim for the face. Please. Because Show Seven (see, right down with the telly lingo, we are) is lining up to be an absolute cracker.
We’ve snuck down to filming to find out what’s coming up on Sunday’s show, and the answer is… lots of tyre smoke. That’s because our resident muscle car enthusiast Richard Hammond – in a bid to find an interesting alternative to the ubiquitous Germanic sports saloons – has got his hands on a Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst.
Yes, that’s the eminently sensible Aussie repmobile armed with a 564bhp 6.2-litre V8 and a penchant for getting very sideways. Expensive tyre bills ensue.
Jeremy and James, meanwhile, have been hard at work creating a memorable television advert for Volkswagen. Remember the Golf GTI ad with the squeaky earring? Or the singing dog? Well, it’s probably going to end up being nowhere near as good as those.
There’s a proper A-list petrolhead in our Reasonably Priced Car, too, as Jay Leno – the strong-chinned American chat show host with arguably the finest garage in the world – takes the venerable Lacetti for a spin.
And as if that wasn’t excitement enough, the Cool Wall is back! This time, however, Jeremy and Richard have promised that they won’t fight about the cars at all. Honest. It’s all going to be friendship and teamwork and male bonding and definitely no chainsaws this time.
So that’s Sunday, 8pm on BBC Two for a teary farewell to Series 13. Don’t even think of missing it.