Series 14: it’s, er, late

Series 14Greeting readers. It’s about midnight, and I’ve just got in from the edit. Tonight I’ve been working on the track film for show 1, which this time is helmed by James in a couple of massively overpowered limos – thought it’d be a change from the low slung two-door stuff.

The editor and I have been chuckling over May and the Stig playing Top Trumps, a game the Stig, frankly, struggles with. But more of that a week on Sunday, when we’ll be dishing up our new offerings.

I’ll be doing a rundown of stuff that’s coming in another blog, but first we must take care of some very important housekeeping, because for this series only, we’re moving to 9pm on November 15. We had no choice really: X Factor on at the same time with the Results Show, Cowell on storming form, the whole nation glued – we know when to bravely bugger off and wait until the storm passes. 

Anyway, for God’s sake tell all your mates about the new temporary arrangements, and then we must also address the issue of the kids.

Basically, we know children get much pleasure from watching three grown men being thick, but we also know it’s school on Monday and 9pm might be a bit late for the younger ones, so – and I speak as a parent myself here – mums and dads, for God’s sake let them stay up.

What’s a bit of grouchiness at breakfast between families? And OK your kids might grow up a bit thicker because they slept through the first lesson, but hey, at least they’ll know the horsepower of an Aston Martin DBS, even if they never end up successful enough to buy one on account of staying up to watch Top Gear.

And teachers, if you’re reading this, have a heart after you’ve checked my grammar. Do you really have to do brainy stuff like chemistry first thing on Monday? Why not teach the kids how to sleep on their desktops, or better still have a quiz about BBC motoring programmes?

After all, a typical episode of Top Gear contains maths, geography, physics, politics and if James is doing a film, maybe even some Latin. 

So there we are, our future is in your hands, parents and teachers. And kids, if none of this working, just put all the clocks back an hour in the house.

Right, I’m off to bed now, because we’re rehearsing Top Gear Live in the morning – cars on fire, all sorts of spectacular nonsense – coming to YouTube soon via someone’s camera phone, and we must make sure we set fire to the right cars. Back soon.

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