Christmas is boring. It is a brain-frazzling monotony of hopeless X-Factor number ones, inexplicably stripy homemade knitwear and Brussel sprouts.
Thankfully, Top Gear is here to save your life from this gaseous onslaught. We have a new book. It is a big book. It is a lot like the The Big Book Of Top Gear, only it’s called Top Gear Christmas.
It is a lavishly appointed tome of veritable Top Gear treats, including our roundup of the fastest things around the world, Santa vs Stig, Richard Hammond’s ultimate Christmas wishlist, and everyone’s favourite moustachioed 70s crime-fighting trio… The Interceptors.
It’s available at all reputable bookstores and Internets, and probably some not-so-reputable bookstores and Internets. Though we advise you to purchase said tome from somewhere reputable, lest you be inadvertently sold Bill Oddie’s How To Watch Wildlife.